possibly the greatest scientist who has ever lived

[ecotrails]

Hi

I am aware that as official site scientist I have been neglectiong my duties of late.... still need to resurrect the 'global warming caused/not caused by anthropogenic activities, will do that soon.

In the meantime I would like to give you a little more insight into my background so as to re-enforce my tenancy as site sciebntist (official).

I studied under De Selby and this great man left a lasting impression upon me, nopt to mention a true love of the scientific method.

Briefly below an excerpt of some of the great mans endevours, he investigated many and varied matters, others of which I shall recall in the sober daylight hours twixt 10.30am and 12.30pm.

Eco

After His death (disappearance), most of his voluminous writing, was compiled into "The De Selby Codex". The reason for this was that his attention darted between many things, and the resulting original writings, appeared to the casual observer to be confused and mixed up. But once ordered into a proper filing system, much great use can be made of his works.

One of his continuing theories, was the phenomenon of "Black Air", possibly the most useful theory man has ever invented !
Black Air is an unsanitary material, and causes "most" men to believe in the myth of night. He also believed that death was a myth, more likely a symptom of the unsanitary effects of the black air.
Black air is basically invisible volcanic dust which propagates into the air from the planet's volcanos. There is so much of it because mankind has been unkind to the planet for too many years.
Time - today 10am
Pilot Reading - 10.2
Reading On Beam - 4.6
Reading on Lever - 1.25
Nature Of Fall (If Any) - light
Lumping? - no lumps

Like many brilliant thinkers, he was absent minded, and often resorted to ridiculous activities to avoid some popular pastimes, which he refused to believe were proper behaviour.

1) He studied films frame by frame with a magnifying glass, because he refused to believe in cinematic projection, as most detail were to be missed that way. And this led him to proclaim most movies tedious.
2) He struggled to tell the difference between men and women, when he was working especially hard.
3) He spent a six month period studying the philosophy of the reflection, in which he conducted all his viewing, writing and vision through an angled mirror apparatus of his own manufacture.
4) He belived that human life is a deprevation of imortality for the spirit, and for this reason women who give birth do so selfishly. He sought to prove this theory on many occasions to priests and other religious types, using simple apparatus such as :- A bicycle pump, a pair of socks, a goats eyeball and a catapult.

Black Light
The black air principle was later expanded to include black light. Professor Charles Paper of Litmus University, Stockholm said in 1985 that electric lights work not by emitting light, but by sucking dark. Key principles of dark light are as follows :-

Dark is heavier than light

Dark travels faster than light

Dark is coloured

In modern times, domestic incandescent light bulbs can be observed to turn grey over time instead of white. This is because the longer they are switched on, the more black they have sucked in. In De Selby's time, he observed that a candle comes with a white wick, but as it is used the wick turns black.
We now know that he was observing a primitive type of dark sucker, and his observations and research led along way to the eventual understanding of this principle.

Unfortunately the science of Black Light and Dark Suckers is of no practical use to anyone.

[ecotrails]

I just realised that I must stress I was not in favour of his experiments with DMP and would distance myself from this area of his investigations....

De Selby's scheme to deoxygentate the world's atmosphere did not go down so well withthe general public but hey science is as science does

De Selby, who describes himself as "a theologist and a physicist, sciences which embrace many others such as eschatology and astrognosy."
De Selby invents a substance which when released in underwater caves, removes all oxygen from the atmosphere (a substance he calls "DMP", the acronym for the Dublin Metropolitan Police) and then discovers that a deoxygenated atmosphere cancels the serial nature of time, leading to the opportunity to converse with great people long departed such as St Augustine.

He surrounded himself with other great thinking minds such as Sergeant Fottrell, whose "Mollycule Theory", the theory that people's personalities become mixed up with those of bicycles through the pounding of man and machine while pedaling down bumpy Irish country roads ("a process of prolonged carnal intercussion"). Along the way,he discovers that James Joyce is alive, well and bartending in the small coastal town of Skerries.

Eco